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Whad'Ya Know? For May 3, 2008

Listen in to the entire two-hour broadcast. Read the timings below to find your favorite segment. Or, you can listen to a specific half-hour of the show: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Problem listening to Real Audio? Get Help!

Hour 1

:00 - A live broadcast from Monona Terrace in Madison with the man sporting soldier-boy eyebrows.....

:01 - All The News That Isn't
-Economy worsens; President Bush asks for rebates back. Just until Tuesday.
- .6% growth. I should grow at .6%.
-Why is it a Bush can't leave a ship of state without scuttling it?
-President Bust.
-The president wants $70 billion for the wars, small bills, non-sequential.
-The 700 million for world food aid you can just leave on the nightstand.
-President George W. Bush is now officially less popular than his father, although Laura is neck-and-pearls with Barbara.
-The most unpopular president in history including Tippecanoe and Tyler, too.
-The president blames the Democrats for the economy. See why no one likes you?
-On the fifth anniversary of the photo op to end all photo op's, the White House admits the Mission Accomplished banner may have been premature. Still won't concede that Mr. Bush didn't fly the plane or that the carrier was off New Jersey.
-That's just the kind of thing people don't like about you.
-The president's aides have begged him not to sing his jocular "Ahab the A-rab" when he meets King Abdullah in Saudi Arabia. Ending with the inevitable
Abdullah is Abdullah
And abdime is abdime
Sing another chorus
But I 'aven't got the time . . .
-Course "If I was a Rich Man," with choreography, is even less well-received in Israel.
-This is not burnishing the legacy.
-In other news, Congress puts the other white meat back in farm bill.
-McCain calls Obama "insensitive to poor;" Obama calls McCain "insensitive to light." McCain calls Obama "insatiable to curiosity," and Obama calls McCain "insurmountable to objects." This is not over.
-Hillary wants a Lincoln-Douglas debate; already has the fake beard.
-How about a Burr-Hamilton debate? Hand her a pistol and call her Aaron.
-The Bush administration says polar bears will be endangered on a bear to bear basis.
-They look all cuddly and cute but they'd just as soon tear you apart as look at you. Look at Knut, that psychopath.
-Next: the phony baloney Panda.
-Obama to join reform temple in Evanston. As good as Christian, anyway -- got an organ, for God's sake.
-In Berlin, plans to update the Wagnerian Bayreuth Festival into the Burning Jew Festival.
-Vietnam suspends baby exports to the US.
-McCain health care plan extends Senate coverage to the House. Not the gym, though -- naked silver-hairs taking a steam is how things get done.
-Man who's been on acid for 60 years finally crashes. Valium would've helped that dash.
-Paula Abdul says she voted yes before she voted no.
-Waiting for a mention of David Blaine -- don't hold your breath.
-More mothers breast feed, fewer fathers do.
-Raul takes Fidel's wife out for May Day.
-Homeland Security asks bass boaters to be on the lookout for really big Johnson's on the lake.
-Miley Cyrus finishes memoirs -- started on Thursday, but she was busy. Told my daughters, Annie Leibovitz wants to take your class pictures, turn on your heels and run.
-Packers draft Bret Favre from Southern Miss.
-Iran buys set of lacquered nesting nuclear devices from Russia.
-Mia Farrow offers to exchange herself for the Sudan; Woody accepts.
-And, the good news is that it's Kerkorian, not Kevorkian, that's buying into Ford . . . .
That's All The News That Isn't.....

:07 - Guest interview with George Johnson, author of The Ten Most Beautiful Experiments. What makes an experiment beautiful? The structure, the reaching out into the unknown and finding an answer. Now that is beauty. You, too can create some beautiful experiments, just get yourself a 2000-volt power supply, charge your plates and spray your liquid.....see what happens!

:27 - John and Jeff play a Richard Rogers tune My Romance.

:35 - In the audience Michael meets Victoria who can council you if you're in Middle School. Her council might extend to those in Middle Age, but usually she works with the younger crowd. So, is it pirate or ninja? Jennifer is a zookeeper who can relate to giraffes on a personal level. They are not horses.

:45 - Four Disclaimers and the Whad'Ya Know? Quiz with Brian and Lee who know there's a haircut coming if you flirt with women. Which penguins might have a dalliance on the side? That's an easy question, how about flagrant and blatant?

Hour 2

:00 - Back for the second hour of this live broadcast from Monona Terrace with the man who says if it wasn't for spam he wouldn't have no mail at all.....

:04 - Thanks for the Memos: the CAT scanner is down again, the new weight limit for the scanner is 400 pounds as every time we scan someone heavier, it breaks.

:06 - The Place To Be: Oak Lawn, Illinois just to stop at the stop signs. Mayor Dave is on the phone to talk about the town's unique approach to stopping....stop in the name of love! But the Federal Government interfered and forced IDOT to take down the signs. Remember, Stop and Smell the Roses!

:12 - Here's a new tune John worked up yesterday when it was a hot day in Chicago. Enjoy John and Jeff and this new jazz creation.

:21 - John doesn't write down his songs, but maybe he should. He records them on his Zoom, which is what everyone uses (except Jim) to keep track of things. Flo is here from Tomahawk, being treated to a grand weekend by her daughters. Glenda brought here friends from California -- Mitch and Francis.

:34 - Whad'Ya Know? Quiz with Cathy and Alex who know a little bit about Barbie and what covers Mars. Pack your margarita glasses when you go to Mars, and that's all we're saying.

:51 - Town of the Week, Sheboygan, Wisconsin.Indians following their trail from Milwaukee to Green Bay could always tell when they reached the mouth of the Sheboygan River. They called the river "schwab-we-way-kum," meaning great noise underground, noise undoubtedly made by the rushing sounds of waterfalls upstream. The natural harbor where the Sheboygan River flows into Lake Michigan was an ideal setting for Jacque Vieau to establish a trading post in 1795 and named it Shabouegan. Officially incorporated in 1893, life was not much different from that in other cities. Heavy industry, manufacturing farming and fishing have served as the cornerstone of Sheboygan's economy for its 51 thousand residents. Beginning in the 1980s, Sheboygan began a cleanup campaign, starting with the restoration of the riverfront. In the early to mid 90's, the Harbor Center Marina was built. That led to expansion of the John Michael Kohler Arts Center, and the expansion of the Above and Beyond Children's Museum; the investment by area restauranteurs into fine dining establishments; the eruption of world class golf courses in Kohler and Sheboygan Falls; and the development of the South Pier District where the Blue Harbor Resort and Conference Center features a 40-thousand-square-foot waterpark, Breaker Bay. Stroll the riverfront's boardwalk, and enjoy the gemutlichkeit of this town's one and only delicacy, the bratwurst. Home of the Red Raiders, you'll find it on I-43 halfway between Milwaukee and Green Bay, our Town of the Week, Sheboygan, Wisconsin.

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