Workavoidics are the paranoids of physical effort. We think people are out to get us to work. And, what's worse, for them. Workavoidics are idealistic: The notion of working for "superiors" flies in the face of our democratic ideals. It's not that we're too good to work, it's that we're not good enough. A guidance counselor (who, I realize now, was a closet workavoidic) once diagnosed me as a perfectionist who couldn't deal with the sloppy work I produced. And it's true: Torn with conflict in the workplace, I feel compelled to take the afternoon off and snake the toilet.

Being around feverish activity brings out the torpor in me. Beehives of activity give me hives. I identify with the worker who sets his own pace, particularly if it's leisurely. When I see a guy leaning on a shovel, I want to go over and prop him up with a two-by-four and shake his hand. Ronald Reagan had the right idea: five hours a day in the saddle, tops. Any more and you'll end up being tied to it.

I've thought about forming a support group for workavoidics, but it doesn't seem worth the effort. Instead, I've put together some tips for fence-sitters who really would like to be sloughing off but haven't gotten around to it. I call these "The Four Shortcuts":

1. Delegate authority. All of it, if possible.
2. Avoid pressing concerns unless your pants are involved.
3. Use your time efficiently. Take a working lunch and eat as much of your paperwork as possible. Keep in mind the paperless workplace is a stepping-stone to the workless workplace.
4. If you must work, remember that work equals force times distance. Take a little work and make it go a long way.

Remember, no one ever got rich through hard work. If you insist on working hard, you do so at your own economic peril.