You can't really blame a forty-year-old man who's put off marriage so long his sperm count is in danger of being reported along with the whooping cranes. He could pick on someone his own size, but that would be like taking his work home with him. No, what he wants is the very embodiment of the values he rejected back when their embodiment didn't look so attractive.

It can't be entirely easy for these couples. How are they going to watch Saturday Night Live together without Dennis Miller driving a wedge between them? Will she know enough not to call "I Heard It Through the Grapevine" the "raisin song"? What happens should she catch an eyeful of what Dave Clark looks like today? While it's true that Dockers can be very forgiving, will she be able to forget the 501 button flies she has known? Can she bite her tongue should he adopt a modified Zero Mostel hairstyle? Will his drug experience in college and hers in grade school prove compatible? Where would she really like to see his sideburns end? Is there any hope he will be able to resist cross-referencing key dates in "The War at Home" to her teething or taking of solid foods? Will she be driven to tears on hearing "When I was your age I was being tear-gassed in Romantic Poetry?" Will he be able to wear boxer shorts (even Calvin Klein's) and not look like an accountant with his pants down? When the work shirt that's "older than she is" finally disintegrates in the laundry, will he carry the shreds around like a blankee? Will she be forced to listen to "Tommy" until she is deaf, dumb, and blind? How will he continually rationalize his material success to someone who feels no apologies are necessary?

Stay tuned in.